it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
