I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
