Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
There's always time for handjobs
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
