You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
