i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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