That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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