We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I stole a fireplace last night.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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