Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think people are normalizing furries
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize