I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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