too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
