Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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