You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
