I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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