White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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