so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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