This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
