i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
