Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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