just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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