Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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