you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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