I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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