don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
