We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
