god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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