i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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