dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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