I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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