Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
