my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
This is not my ceiling
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
