it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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