You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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