She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
