i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
