Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
