You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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