Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
