he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
