Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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