Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize