why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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