margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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