Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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  (336): i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets. http://tfl.nu/gfq6
  Replies (53) Good night (3723) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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  (559): you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you http://tfl.nu/hdb5
  Replies (17) Good night (971) Bad night (3986)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"

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  (214): i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat" http://tfl.nu/yhqk
  Replies (30) Good night (4857) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.

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  (608): TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS. http://tfl.nu/ccyr
  Replies (11) Good night (2754) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?

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  (502): Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv? http://tfl.nu/2eve
  Replies (15) Good night (1921) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?

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  (610): who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch? http://tfl.nu/432a
  Replies (38) Good night (3887) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.

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  (917): i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing. http://tfl.nu/nkz8
  Replies (10) Good night (1019) Bad night (3131)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G

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  (503): I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G http://tfl.nu/pzjk
  Replies (5) Good night (1708) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB

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  (+44): you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB http://tfl.nu/timz
  Replies (4) Good night (1840) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..

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  (216): Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started.. http://tfl.nu/1p0k
  Replies (9) Good night (1249) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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  (214): This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family. http://tfl.nu/r35r
  Replies (4) Good night (290) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance

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  (850): It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance http://tfl.nu/dt1j
  Replies (6) Good night (357) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress

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  (503): I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress http://tfl.nu/vffb
  Replies (8) Good night (441) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home

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  (503): Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home http://tfl.nu/qybd
  Replies (5) Good night (368) Bad night (282)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

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  (402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91
  Replies (3) Good night (173) Bad night (538)

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