dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
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Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize