Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.

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  (609): It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds. http://tfl.nu/3v3q
  Replies (48) Good night (666) Bad night (8118)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time

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  (517): He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time http://tfl.nu/hxad
  Replies (19) Good night (5470) Bad night (1000)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

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  (513): Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team. http://tfl.nu/vssn
  Replies (7) Good night (3245) Bad night (758)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.

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  (541): No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night. http://tfl.nu/zfom
  Replies (6) Good night (2049) Bad night (1041)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila

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  (812): I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila http://tfl.nu/88ud
  Replies (6) Good night (4519) Bad night (792)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.

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  (850): I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs. http://tfl.nu/p0c7
  Replies (11) Good night (1938) Bad night (708)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You fucked her?! HER?!

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.

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  (205): You fucked her?! HER?! (1-205): She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir. http://tfl.nu/jld9
  Replies (6) Good night (3646) Bad night (666)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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  (724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs
  Replies (7) Good night (907) Bad night (641)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"

  (425): View more from Washington

  I want to be you.

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  (360): I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze" (425): I want to be you. http://tfl.nu/ldeq
  Replies (6) Good night (2398) Bad night (621)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.

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  (602): Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis. http://tfl.nu/d56l
  Replies (10) Good night (836) Bad night (1711)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.

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  (347): I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong. http://tfl.nu/uiaa
  Replies (14) Good night (1845) Bad night (634)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Drunk ass.

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  (715): apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus (651): Drunk ass. http://tfl.nu/f50c
  Replies (3) Good night (545) Bad night (342)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang

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  (623): Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang http://tfl.nu/tn14
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (554)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...

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  (312): I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE... http://tfl.nu/ssdd
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (521)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship

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  (631): I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship http://tfl.nu/5hnm
  Replies (1) Good night (240) Bad night (569)

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