I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!