its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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