omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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