Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
