3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
