Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
