i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
