Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
