I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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