Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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