dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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