There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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