do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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