I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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