YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
