Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
