What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
