david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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