found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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