We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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