Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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