I accidentally had phone sex last night
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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