He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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